Where’s Lego Jimmy Hoffa Buried?

This week I finally started back at my elementary school job, which is quite possibly the best job in the world. I work with small groups of students on social skills and self-esteem. So I’m pretty much paid to hang with cool little kids, play games, and have fun. I get paid in both hugs and money; sometimes a handmade card or a piece of candy.

And sometimes, funny stuff happens.

Like the Great Lego Debacle.
Lego Retention Policy
Wee B. Stealin’ Elementary School
Effective: October 1, 2010
Objective: To effectively retain Lego men/women for future generations of Social Skills group participants.
Problem: Lego men and women have been disappearing from the Social Skills classroom at a rate somewhat higher than standards allow. We need to align ourselves with District Lego Standards (see appendix).
  • Lego men/women will be checked out to Social Skills students on an as-needed basis during free time. A monetary deposit will be required, which may involve the handing over of lunch money.
  • Need for said Lego person must be articulated in a three-paragraph essay, including proper citations and use of MLA format. If Social Skills Aide determines that the proposed use of said Lego person does not meet with current District Lego Standards the request will be denied.
  • A Lego person is defined as having a head, torso, legs, hair or hat, arms, and hands. Prior to checkout, student may exchange these parts to create a unique person. Social Skills Aide retains the right to refuse certain combinations of Lego people (i.e. Indiana Jones head on a Darth Vadar body) that are deemed just plain silly.
  • Various accessories for Lego people will be loaned out at the sole discretion of the Social Skills Aide. Bus Stop Lady probably doesn’t really need Indiana Jones’ bullwhip and Clone Troopers in baseball caps look odd.
  • Before returning to class, student will return complete Lego person to Social Skills Aide. If all limbs and appendages are present, the deposit will be returned to student. If not, aide retains the right to a home visit, where she may help herself to Legos from the personal collection of said student.

This post is linked up to Word Up, YO!, which is masterminded by KLZ, Natalie, and Liz; The Word of the Week is:


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  1. That is so hilarious! I didn't know you taught social skills! Way cool!

  2. Ha!! You are so funny! I can see that you are perfect for that job. I love little Legos men (and women!). Hugs are the best payment, right? I always try to offer a hug to pay for my groceries but the cashier always gives me the dirtiest look. "STICK IT!!", is what I yell as I run out the door totally humiliated for my attempt.

    In reference to your comment on my blog about avoiding the gym and the gym shower b/c of the likes of "Nadine & Flo", from the looks of your picture, you DON'T NEED NO geee-yim! Lucky lady! πŸ™‚

  3. The Blogging Goddess says:

    That is a debacle, but those rules should stop any horseplay with the lego men and women of the world.

  4. hokgardner says:

    We just entered the Lego epoch at our house. There are heads and torsos scattered everywhere. Except for Emperor Zurg – his head disappeared two days after my son got him.

  5. Joey @ Big Teeth and Clouds says:

    May this be a model for other schools to use when drawing up their own Lego policy.

  6. An Imperfect Momma says:

    Wow…those are such great rules! Wonder how long they will remain in effect. LOL. Funny as always

  7. Melissa (Confessions of a Dr. Mom) says:

    I love it Sherri! SO funny. You are certainly the right person for the job πŸ™‚

  8. Lori @ In Pursuit of Martha Points says:

    I remember the Art of Letting Go when my son was small and played with Legos (that's so odd, I mentioned Lego's in today's post too..) and I had to find ways to be At Peace with the mutant combinations he would come up with with his Lego people.

    "No! Why are you putting the knight's head on the soccer player body? They didn't HAVE soccer in the middle ages!"

    The three year old failed to appreciate my sense of Lego decorum. He persisted in breaking the rules willy-nilly and I just had to find a way to deal.

    Which MAY have involved spiked mochas and double chocolate donuts. But I ain't tellin.

  9. Alyson -- Common Sense, Dancing says:

    I misread the Bus Stop Lady and read it as Bus Driver (I know, not a misread as much of an internal edit, sorry) and thought, "But OF COURSE she needs Indiana Jones's bullwhip. Has Sherri ever BEEN on a school bus?

    But then I re-read it. You're right. No bullwhip required. But possibly one of those swords from the Knight sets would be appropriate.

  10. Aging Mommy says:

    Well this would definitely solve the problem of the disappearing lego people as I cannot imagine the 3 paragraph requesting essays will be flowing into your hands πŸ™‚

  11. Do you get to use their forfeited lunch money to buy yourself snacks too? Because that might mean a few more could go…missing…in my opinion.

  12. Lula Lola says:

    LOVE it! And Clone trooper in baseball caps are just wrong!

    Adam's fifth grade teacher would loan pencils but the borrower had to give her a shoe. At the end of class, no one forgot to return the pencils!

    I, on the other hand would give them a freaking pencil not to have to smell the feet of fifth graders, but I guess we all have our priorities!

    Hope the school system doesn't catch wind of this post, because, you may end up not playing with the cool little kids, but behind a desk penning school policy!

  13. now THIS is a serious debacle! you're pretty hard-core with your MLA rules, and all!

  14. Well, those little guys are so cute, I can see why they "disappear".

  15. Way too funny! I especially love how the students need to submit a three paragraph essay complete with MLA citations and format. You are the perfect one for this position…how cool are you!

  16. Kristin @ Peace, Love and Muesli says:

    Did the kids think that up? It's so great.

  17. I love this! Especially the 3 paragraph essay in MLF format… brilliant πŸ˜‰

  18. Sarah Garb says:

    One has to have clear policies, really. And defining what constitutes a "Lego Person" must be pretty standard in contract law. I think elementary school is the perfect age to introduce the phrase, "I, the undersigned,…."

  19. Wombat Central says:

    Hilarious! So glad to have found your blog. My son pocketed a Lego shirt in kindergarten and I made him dig it out and march back with it. They must be so tempted!

  20. You are hardcore with your rules!! I loved this – laughed all the way through it!

  21. Booyah's Momma says:

    Standards based curriculum is all the rage nowadays. Glad to see you are embracing No Lego Left Behind. But is there a summative assessment for this?

    (Sorry, clearly my day job is intruding on my blog reading once again)

  22. MamaOnDaGo says:

    You're the Lego Natzi. I'm always worried when Lego pieces are missing. Did the 1 year old eat it? We must find it!

  23. You GO you Lt. Lego!!! I had no idea what a tight ship you ran!!! HA!! Love it!

    Hope you are having a fantastic week back at work!

  24. The Flying Chalupa says:

    The title of this post is perfect. You could have just ended it with the title and I would have been happy. But the post is pretty great too. πŸ™‚ Your school is fairly strict with the Legos, n'est pas? I think you should get a plastic detector and check body crevice searches.

  25. Jersey Diva Mom says:

    Why, no idea- but I love that hair OR hat is specified as making the person whole. Apparently baldness is a no no in Lego-land so hats must be worn to hide the fact. It's like a toy store filled by Kenny Chesney!

  26. That is too funny!

  27. Elisabeth Black says:

    Love this!!!!!

    But where do Bionicles fall into this?

  28. Still laughing. If anyone could pull this off, I have a feeling, you're the broad for the job! Too funny.