New Year’s Resolutions for Moms

The end of the year always brings with it the baggage of the past year; painful remembrances of what really didn’t go well for us. These are usually resurrected in the form of resolutions of what not to do in the coming year.

Why do we do this to ourselves year after year?

There’s just something cathartic about starting anew, getting a 47th chance to succeed, and setting ourselves up for failure achieving our goals. A new diet, exercising every day, being more patient, or getting organized usually top the list. Great ideas, at least on paper.

But most of us aim too high with those resolutions, making them so far out of reach that we’ve failed by February January 2nd around noon.

Or sooner.

So this year I’ve created a list of totally attainable resolutions for the Modern-Day Mother. Feel free to print this out and stick in on your refrigerator next to the Pizza Town magnet and that picture of your nephew in his soccer uniform.

Top Ten Resolutions for Mom

  1. I resolve not to keep each and every painting/piece of artwork/book report/macaroni collage/ceramic ashtray created by my children. Contrary to popular mom folk lore, there isn’t a special place in heaven for me if I do.
  2. I resolve to banish the word thighs from my vocabulary unless it pertains to those from a chicken that have been marinated in some wonderful sauce.
  3. I resolve to smile at each of my children at least once a day. This serves the dual purpose of making them feel loved and making them wonder what I have up my sleeve. Or what they’ve been caught at. It’s a win-win.
  4. I resolve to stop wasting my time looking all over for the missing sock. A close-enough mate is good enough.
  5. I resolve to buy myself one candy treat each time I go to the grocery store, and hide it from the kids.
  6. I resolve to stop asking silly questions like, “Why are these socks still on the floor?” or “When were you planning on telling me about the science fair?” since I don’t really care about the answer.
  7. I resolve to start being more spontaneous. I plan to start this soon after the new year begins, or whenever I can schedule it in.
  8. I resolve to bite my lip when my kids aren’t asking for advice. I may have to bite quite hard.
  9. I resolve to start referring to myself by my name, and not as “Junior’s Mom”.
  10. I resolve to delegate more chores to the kids, who are more than capable of doing them and quite possibly might do a better job than I do.

What resolutions do you have this New Year?

Comments

  1. Mommy Needs a Vacation says:

    Ha! Great list! I really need to throw more art work away. The pile is getting ridiculous!!!

  2. I have one goal for the new year.

    Finally organize my Christmas insanity in time for next Christmas.

  3. #7 is my favorite — 'planning" spontaneity is definitely on my NYR list.

  4. Joey @ Big Teeth and Clouds says:

    But there's a special place in meltdown hell if she sees me throw away a piece of her artwork!

    Nice list – Happy New Year!

  5. Not Just Another Jennifer says:

    Love it!

  6. I did a post this time last year about all the resolutions I was NOT going to make, and this post reminds me of it! LOL!

    I don't make resolutions b/c I can't keep them. Instead, I'm trying to set goals. My only one has to do w/ regular writing. I'm going to get up early every day to do it before the kids get up. It's the only way. Too tired at night. Already have a partner, so we'll hold each other accountable and check in at 5:15 a.m. daily on Twitter. Wish me luck!

  7. Getrealmommy says:

    Great list. I confess though I already mastered the art of not keeping the "art" work. In fact much of it doesn't make it past the door of the preschool. There is only so much finger paint decor one can stand!

  8. The Empress says:

    Good ones…now can you resolve to keep these resolutions??

  9. ruthhill74 says:

    I think this is a great list. It is important to sometimes not take our lives so seriously as mothers. I just found you due to Kludgy Mom recommending you in her post. If you're interested, here's my blog:

    http://mydevotionalthoughts.blogspot.com/

  10. Just Another Mom of 2 says:

    I love this list! So true. Especially the pointless questions. I mean really, even when we get the answer, what good will it do? (of course, I'm not sure it's possible to give these up completely..) I hope you have a great New Year!

  11. Excellent list! I'm already doing some of them (hello, chocolate), but there are others I should take on also!

  12. I resolve not to drive myself crazy with this whole college thing. I have already finished college, time for my daughter to step up to the plate and take a swing.

  13. I love your list…yes, I'll be buying myself more than one secret treat this coming year…and yes, who cares about where those blasted matching socks went…we all know the little elves took them out of the dryer. πŸ™‚ Happy New Year Sherri!

  14. I LOVE this! Not only do I love each resolution, I love the whole idea behind the practicality of it all.

    I'm stumbling AND Digging!

  15. Lori @ In Pursuit of Martha Points says:

    Yes, I am stealing every single one of these.

    Especially number 6. WHY do I ask questions I do not want the answers to???

  16. The Drama Mama says:

    I'm printing your list out, as soon as I start working on perfecting the art of procrastination that is on my resolution list.

  17. Number 6 is my favorite! But can you really keep yourself from asking silly questions? I feel like if I kept it all in my head would explode.

  18. GratefulTwinMom says:

    I love this. The win-win on number 3 is especially noteworthy. It's funny when they think I'm being sneaky. I also am seriously going to begin number 10. It's about time those kids shared the load around here. πŸ™‚

  19. Julie Hedlund says:

    Thanks so much for the laugh! I'm going to take your #4 a step further and say "I resolve to THROW AWAY socks that have had no match for more than 3 laundry cycles. I further resolve not to go apeshit if I find a match to one of those thrown-away socks a week later."

  20. Love this Sherri! Once I start my Saturday favs back up, this is gonna be on it! I'm stumbling it too πŸ™‚

  21. Oh, and if you're a blogger, you also will refer to yourself as your blog name – "Hi I'm Mommy of a Monster"

  22. So perfect. I especially love 7. You are too funny. Happy New Year!!

  23. moosh in indy. says:

    I made a resolution about 3 years ago to always have good smelling laundry.

    So far so good. I like totally attainable resolutions.

    I'm pretty happy about that one.

  24. Paula/Lulubelle says:

    Perfect post! Definitely words to live by

  25. 5.I resolve to buy myself one candy treat each time I go to the grocery store, and hide it from the kids.

    …you evil mom!! I love it πŸ˜€

  26. Can I also banish the words "love handles" and "gut"?

    Also Alex is one and I totally make him help me with chores. His vaccuum obsession is being put to good use

  27. Just Plain Tired says:

    Awesome list, and seems highly attainable.. and stuff. Have an awesome new year!

  28. Melissa (Confessions of a Dr. Mom) says:

    Ooh Sherri, this is fantastic! I just might print it out and hang it on my fridge:)

    I especially love the smiling at my children part especially since I get caught up in our routine and notice my brow furrowing way too much.

    Happy New Year, here's to a fabulous 2011!

  29. Haha! Great list! I love number 1. I often think as I collect all my students' artwork from the year: "Should I toss this into the trash or let the parents do that?" πŸ™‚

  30. Booyah's Momma says:

    Oh, Sherri… these are absolutely perfect resolutions!

    I love each of these, although I'm not sure how successful I'd be at actually keeping any of them myself. Strike that. I'm proud to say I've been doing #5 already for quite some time. πŸ™‚

  31. Ha! I love Number 1! I have a hard time parting with my kids' artwork, stories, etc. I try to save only the most precious ones, but still. I am overwhelmed by paper!
    Happy New Year to you, and good luck with your resolutions!

  32. Number 7 cracked me up! Every year I say I'm going to lose weight, exercise, and get organized. This year, I'm saying it again, hoping it'll stick!

  33. Mrs.Mayhem says:

    This list is awesome! You are so very funny and clever, Sherri.

  34. MommaKiss says:

    now these are goals i can get behind. especially the sock issue.

  35. Morgan B. says:

    #1 is so right up my alley. Emma just started pre-school and I have yet to throw away a single piece of her artwork. How do you know which ones to keep? They all seem so precious! The pile has already started….

  36. Alyson -- Common Sense, Dancing says:

    Love this list a lot….it's a "real" list that may help Restore Sanity in 2011. (that's my over-arching goal. Not to over-reach or anything.)

    May have to break out the laminator…

  37. The mad woman behind the blog says:

    I resolve to be more like Sherri.

    That is all.

  38. Very funny and very clever list. I'm Stumbling this it is so awesome!

  39. Spot on! I love it.

  40. Love this list! Just do it with #4 – I stopped matching socks years ago for this same reason and it is actually now a conversation piece. Yah, probably shouldn't have admitted that. Boring life I lead when I talk about socks with friends πŸ˜‰

    • P.S. In case your grmthaonder reads this… I didn't hate the spaghetti sauce, I was young and just didn't like the green olives in it! I'm sure that I would love it now! (You should make it for us when Jess is back in town!)

    • wonderful website…Excellent data can often be had pertaining to web site. “It are likely to become fast nearing the where Our spouse as well as i don’t really should elect anyone silly enough to want the task. ” just via Erma Bombeck….

  41. Leigh Ann says:

    Excellent list. #7 make me bust out laughing, but it sounded to logical! Not much spontaneity when I run so much on autopilot.

  42. This is one awesome article.Really thank you! Fantastic.

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