Post from the Past – Behind the Mask

I’m up to my eyeballs in Christmas cookies and wrapping paper this week, and the blogosphere is full of Christmas posts. So I’ve decided to run a post from the past that has absolutely nothing to do with Christmas.

Lazy? Maybe.

But read about one of my all-time favorite jobs and you may rethink that.

Behind the Mask

Part of what I love about working at an elementary school is that contagious feeling of excitement that’s always in the air. It’s hard to describe, and you DO feel it when you attend functions as a parent. But you especially feel it as a staff member….at least at our school you do. There is an effervescence about the kids. You see it at recess, during special assemblies, and especially at the last day of school Field Day.

And yet, there is a seedier side to this effusion of glee and giddiness. A side of some children that most parents will never see. If they do see it, they tend to look away and pretend they don’t.

I’m talking about the view from inside the suit.

The Raccoon suit, that is.

Several times during the school year I volunteer to suit up as Rocky the Raccoon, our school’s mascot, and hit the blacktop. Nothing makes you feel more like a rock star than having swarms of enthusiastic kids crowd around you and ask for your autograph or a high five. It only adds to the fun that I’ve done this off and on for the past four years, and not ONE kid has discovered my secret.

I’ll admit that it does burst my bubble when many of the students guess that I’m one of the male teachers. Or someones dad. I like it better when they guess that I’m the very young female science teacher.

Obviously they can’t see ANY part of my body, or she wouldn’t even be in the running.

So as the school year ended this past June, of course I was ready to do my part for God and country the principal and the kids.

I squeezed into the furry suit, lassoed my big head of hair into a scrunchy, and crammed my noggin into the over sized raccoon head. I headed out to the playground, which was a patchwork of carnival games, excited students, and camera-toting parents.

These were my people. I was immediately surrounded by kids jumping up and down, parents requesting a Kodak moment, and kindergartners wanting a hug.

After about half an hour of high fives, photo ops and autographs (yeah, it’s a challenge with the mittens and poor visibility) I am feeling pretty effervescent myself. Like someone dressed as a raccoon should be.

Kind of like a rock star.

Until I see them. The group of 4th and 5th grade boys.

There is a certain gleam in their beady little eyes that causes my morning coffee to make a brief appearance back in my throat. They start moving towards me. “Hey Rocky! Over here!” they shout, as I pat a kindergartner on the head and wish I could dig a hole like a real raccoon.

Or that I was Catholic, because Catholic schools probably don’t have a Raccoon mascot.

And then they surround me.

They try and look up under my mask, yelling to each other, “Hey, I see someone in there!” like they actually THOUGHT I was a real raccoon. Then they start grabbing my tail, which I can’t actually see because there is literally NO peripheral vision in the head part of the costume.

Pretty soon I am feeling like a Coach bag on the 80% off table at Nordstrom.

Like a cat smeared in bacon dropped off at the dog park.

It’s hard to run in the suit, but I push through the small crowd, waving as I go, and pick up speed as I head towards the buildings. The costume has seen better days, and it’s a challenge to keep the mangy-looking booties on while walking.

So walking becomes more like ambling. Limping, sometimes.

Around me are all sorts of happy parents, chatting with each other and enjoying the free coffee and donuts that are always a part of field day. Most of them are probably lamenting that tomorrow will be the first day of summer, and wondering “What will I do with the kids??”

What could you do with them NOW, I wonder, since nobody seems to notice the hordes of children (no longer effervescent; more like militant) continuing to follow me.

And then, like an angel sent straight from above, I see her. I make a beeline towards one of the Special Ed aides, who most likely deals with things like this all day. I sidle up next to her and say “help me” in a very quiet voice (because, raccoons don’t talk….duh). She startles and asks “Who is that??” and when I tell her she asks if I need an escort.


She shoos the boys away, scolds a few more when they pull my tail, and has my back (and tail) for the remainder of field day.

Which makes it so much easier to get back to the business of being a raccoon; patting cute kids on the head, writing illegible autographs, smiling for pictures, and giving high fives.

Which helps me forget the seedier side of kids. At least, until next time.


  1. Organic Motherhood with Cool Whip says:

    OMG. Hilarious story. You had me at, "Like a cat smeared in bacon dropped off at the dog park." That's an image I will never forget. I'm glad you made it out of there alive.

  2. I remember this post! And I LOVE it!

    I feel so bad for you, even still now.

  3. Joey @ Big Teeth and Clouds says:

    I've worked four days so far as a substitute special education aid (I'm glad that's who saved the day in this story, by the way). Two days with 2nd grade and two days in Middle School. The older kids are much more, how should I say, challenging? I definitely WOULD NOT want to wear a raccoon suit in the middle school. You are a brave brave woman.

  4. I can just hear those little nitwits yelling "Hey I see someone in there!" Too true.

  5. Darn those little snots!!!

  6. Mrs.Mayhem says:

    Fourth and fifth grade boys excel at the mob mentality. So glad that someone rescued you before things got out of hand!

  7. This is hilarious! Man, 5th / 6th grade boys? Be scared. Be very scared. They would have had you tied to a chair and torturing you with dry erase marker fumes within five minutes. Glad you escaped, Sherri!

    Have a wonderful holiday, my friend!

  8. Tough Cookie Mommy says:

    I was literally visualizing the entire event while you described it! If only parents could see what their little darlings are up to when they are in school. I'm sure many of them would be surprised, and not pleasantly, at how their little muffins turn into trolls when the Momma and Daddy cat are away. I feel your pain, my friend…