For Sale

For Sale: One Scowl
(best offer or possible trade for Botox injections)
ο»Ώ

condition: Well-used, but improving with age. Even under the happiest of conditions, the Scowl will continue to deepen with each passing year.

ownership: Still owned by the original owner who acquired the scowl gradually, almost without realizing she was acquiring it. Digital pictures proved otherwise.

uses: The Scowl is useful for occupations such as teacher, orthodontist, Wal-Mart employee, or school bus driver. Also useful if you have children under the age of 18 living in your home.

Or children over the age of 18 that you would like to move out of your home.

Using the Scowl in a restaurant will ensure speedy service by your waiter. The Scowl can also be used to frighten office staff at the dentist’s office when the dentist is out golfing running slightly behind and your appointment time has long since passed.

warnings: The Scowl is not recommended for use during date night, when having family pictures taken by expensive photographer, or at mother-in-law’s dinner table on Easter Sunday.

When using the Scowl at establishments that serve alcohol there is virtually no chance you will be carded.

Purchaser of the Scowl acknowledges the pros and cons of ownership and agrees to a hold-harmless clause.

I accept Pay Pal, Visa, American Express, or cash.

Or Botox.

This post is for The Red Dress Club weekly writing prompt. This week’s assignment was to write a humorous ad, a la Craigslist or eBay, selling something you no longer want.

Comments

  1. I have mine own, but thanks. πŸ˜‰ Love the "Wal-Mart" worker one – ha ha ha!!

  2. First of all, look at that glorious hair!

    Second, the scowl I find scary. Like I just got caught eating cookies five minutes before dinner..

  3. Lovely! But I'll have to trade in my Old Lady Hands to be able to afford the Scowl.

  4. Yeah, I'm with Cheryl – your hair is beautiful!

    And I just checked and my scowl is really coming along!

  5. I don't buy it, I saw your vacation pictures when I was stalking you on Facebook and you have the body of a twenty year old! (not me at twenty, someone HOT and SKINNY) So what's a little wrinkle gonna do to put a damper on that? NUTHIN
    Nice try though….

  6. Yeah, I have my own. Been working on it about some years longer.
    Pretty sure it's beyond Botox.
    Sigh

  7. Emily @ Kibble n' Dribble says:

    Oooh pretty hair!

    And looks like you have the mama scowl down pat. But nothing to get rid of forever!

  8. If someone doesn't want to purchase the scowl, I think you should scowl at them. Problem solved!

    PS. I want your hair!

  9. So funny! Cute picture, scowl and all!
    My best friend and I compare wrinkles every now and then. It's been a running joke. She has the wrinkles between her eyebrows from her scowl. I have lines across my forehead from popping my eyebrows up in perpetual surprise and astonishment.

  10. Just Plain Tired says:

    Well, if I'm ever in the market for a serviceable scowl I know where to go. πŸ˜‰

  11. It's like the adult version of Natalie's "The Business." I taught middle school for ten years. My scowl? It can kill a puppy.

  12. Soge shirts says:

    Lol it totally is the adult version of "The Business" Loved the line about using the scowl for kids over 18 that need to move out. Too funny.

  13. I've been growing my scowl since I was 12. I never get tired of men at the bus stop or in a supermarket asking me to smile /sarcasm

  14. Can I get that bald spot behind you as well? I've had my eye on it and now I am so ready to make that impulse buy!

  15. Got to comment on your hair too…it's beautiful! And the scowl? Perfect. It makes me want to run and get you a glass of wine pronto!

  16. Lori @ In Pursuit of Martha Points says:

    Hee! I recognize that scowl!

    Except, at the time, I labelled it "intensely listening."

    And I simply can't use another. I could lose a pack of boy scouts in the groove between my eyebrows.

  17. a great post… my favorite part was the occupations you listed, but the clincher at the end about botox made me smile. My first visit to your blog!!

  18. LOL…I've managed to perfect my scowl…I think another one wouldn't improve much.

  19. writingwithchaos says:

    LOL, I never would've thought of selling your scowl.

    Mine is improving every year, with a 4 year old that doesn't listen and a 1.5 y/o around…

    I loved the Wal-mart employee addition.

    Well written, priceless photo, nice hair!

    Here via TRDC.

  20. Dude, you are one pretty lady.

    But personally if I can't use a scowl at my mother in law's, there's really no point in having it

  21. Here's how I see it. The scowl happens because you've smiled so much over life. Which means you've had a life well-lived!

  22. No takers here. I have a related product called The Brow.

    Comes with a free vertical crease at the inside of my right eye.

    Sigh.

  23. I am very familiar with the Scowl and have developed quite a powerful one in my classroom πŸ™‚

  24. Mrs.Mayhem says:

    Nice offer, but I have my own scowl. One with the lovely addition of a scar between my eyes (which is also sagging as I age). Lovely.

    But if you're interested in selling your gorgeous hair, we might have a deal.

  25. THE SARCASM GODDESS says:

    This was great!! So funny! And clever! Loved it. I could have used the Scowl this week. I worn mine out while trying to come up with a story for this week's prompt. I came up with nothing, but am enjoying reading everyone's posts.

  26. Karen Peterson says:

    I love how funny and imaginative this one is.

  27. Kris Mulkey says:

    Funny! I have that same scowl. Only in my house we call it "the look."

  28. Mama Jules says:

    I worked on my scowl over the many years of working with kids. Now that I have my own kids, I'm not sure I need another scowl. Sorry!

    But I will take your hair. Mine doesn't seem to like me very much!

  29. Brandon Duncan says:

    "Purchaser of the Scowl acknowledges the pros and cons of ownership and agrees to a hold-harmless clause." That was funny!

    Honestly, I can relate. I can feel one coming on as well, lol! Should be good for when kids need to GET OFF MY LAWN! πŸ™‚

  30. I've admired your profile pic so I don't buy (nor do I want to buy) the scowl. However, I will say, it would probably come in handy when the kids have said something inappropriate that I'm supposed to be scowling at but find funny despite its vulgarity….

  31. The Empress says:

    HILARIOUS.

    One of the best TRDC's For Sales I've read yet.

    I could see you, and raise you, on all counts.

    "Veins in my hands, veins in my hands…lookin' like a hag with veins in my hands."

  32. Booyah's Momma says:

    I'm with Cheryl. I'm oohing over your hair.

    I know that look well. And for me, the only downside to The Scowl? Is when your kids start giving it back to you. In spades. I'd so love to put that one up for sale. πŸ™‚

  33. Haha I love "don't use it in pictures or at Easter dinner"!! Lol!

  34. Sluiter Nation says:

    I also love your hair.

    And? I have a scowl, so I don't need yours. It includes an eyebrow raise with it. Get 'em every time.

  35. Mommy Needs a Vacation says:

    I SO have that scowl!!
    PS- I love your long locks!

  36. I have a nasty and in need of Botox scowl of my own, but I LOVE your ad.

  37. No thanks!! I'd be happy to host a Botox party with you though!

  38. The Flying Chalupa says:

    First of all, do I recognize that establishment? Hmm? It's looking very familiar.

    Second, you have the most lovely scowl I've ever seen. I'm sure the kids appreciate it big time.

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