Jean Envy

They mock me from the closet…from the low shelf, hidden under an old pair of flip-flops and a sweater that’s missing a button.

The pair of Miss Me jeans with the bespangled back pockets (that is totally a word).

I bought them a few months ago, in a fit of enthusiasm that I had scored an awesome deal and they fit.

Having legs that are just about one inch shy of being regular length, I get giddy when I find a pair of LONG jeans that will fit me and not look like cropped pants.

Not that those aren’t cute.

But the Miss Me jeans?

They are awesome.

And yet, they remain with tags, on that low shelf.

I have stolen their chance at glory…stolen their chance to hug the slight curves of a sorority girl or grace the backside of rodeo queen.

What was I thinking?

Tags remain attached, giving slight hope that a sensible return-for-store-credit might be the solution.

And yet…

I want them.

I want to pull them on and admire the blingy back pockets that only draw attention to that flattened place where I sit and write.

I want to wear them to my favorite haunts…the grocery store, Target or the gas station.

I want to sparkle…just a bit.

Isn’t that OK? Does it really matter how silly a middle-aged woman may look with sparkles on her backside?

I took it to the Twitter a few weeks ago…threw it out there…

When is a woman too old for bling on her back pockets?

There was plenty of advice, including this:
“If she has to ask, she probably already knows the answer.”

Damn Twitter.

I want to sparkle a bit longer.

I want to stay up late and run with scissors and eat my ice cream first.

To say no, to take a chance, to dream big and just be alive.

With sparkles on my ass.

…and still, they mock me from the closet.

What am I afraid of? Does it really matter that I am too old to sparkle?

My time to sparkle may be now.

And it may just start with a fabulous pair of jeans.


  1. seriously???

    shame on you


  2. Go.

    Get your sparkle on.

    (And if you smile big enough, no one will even notice your ass. Probably.)


  3. If they fit, wear them! You’re old enough to wear what you love without worrying what your fellow Target shoppers think.

  4. Story for you …

    Ryan and I went to Vegas a couple years ago. I was nervous about leaving the kids and unsure about the whole thing.

    We were behind a group of women in the check-in line. Maybe 6 or 7 girlfriends, laughing and chatting and talking about mimosas on the plane and maybe going out to dance. They were attractive and vivacious. If I had to bet (and we were going to Vegas after all), I’d say they ranged from 45 to almost 70.

    I think 4 of them had on Miss Me jeans (or a pair with a similar amount of bling).

    I didn’t think they looked silly or ridiculous or like they were trying too hard. I thought they looked like fun, and I said, “I hope when I’m 60 I have friends like that and still want to wear sparkles on my fabulous ass.”

    You’re not even close to 70, so those jeans will be worn out by the time you’re “too old” for them.

    For the record, I don’t have a fabulous ass, but the sentiment stands.

  5. P.S. I apologize for my book-length comment. I do that in person, too. Talk too much, I mean πŸ™‚

    • Angela we must be kindred spirits! I love a good, solid comment. πŸ™‚ And I love to make them too. So maybe we can leave them for each other sometime? πŸ™‚ You are awesome. It was the perfect comment for Sherri and a GREAT story. You, my dear, seem to be a natural-born storyteller. Never apologize for that! It makes you super cool!!! Just ask Sherri; she’s one amazing storyteller herself. πŸ™‚ Nice to “meet” you btw!

  6. So Sherri. This post is seriously one of your TOP TEN all-time BEST posts EVER!!! I love, love, love it. Love it!

    And in answer to your question: You are NEVER too old to sparkle. And when I thought of you in sparkly jeans, I thought, “That totally *fits* her.” And then I thought, “Hahaha! I said *fits*!” And then I realized what a fitting thing that was to say and thought, “Get it? Fits?”

    …Okay I’ll stop now. I don’t know why I think I’m so funny, πŸ˜‰ but usually it’s a good thing because even if everyone else is laughing at me? I can’t hear them over my OWN laughter!

    …Which, if you think about it, could be a great analogy for the sparkly jeans thing.

    Sparkle your sparkle so well and so loud that you can’t hear others trying to desparkle you!!! (Another sweet word. I LOVED “bespangled,” btw.)

    Oh and that person on Twitter? Perfect example of a NON-sparkly friend. I call them Twitterds. πŸ˜‰ The world has plenty of them and not enough sparkle… So go ahead and shine on, you gorgeous young thang!

    Hugs and misses, long time no see! It was so great to have you in my inbox today. πŸ™‚

  7. It is HIGH time for you to sparkle, my friend!! I say rip the tags off, put your ass in those Miss Me jeans and strut your stuff!

    P.S. I firmly believe we should all run with scissors. At least once in our lives! πŸ™‚

  8. Oh, my lovely friend.
    You already sparkle. You so do.
    The way I see it, it’s your responsibility to wear those jeans.
    Rip off the tags, pull them on and look in the mirror. The brightest sparkle you’ll see is the one that’s in your eyes.
    It’s been there all along.
    You may as well have jeans to match. xoxo

  9. Sparkle away!!

    I’ve been pondering getting those type of jeans too but the teenage daughters in my life feel the need to remind me of my age.

    I’m trying to ignore those comments and sparkle too.

  10. It is never too late to sparkle. Now is the time! Get those jeans on! Go! xo

  11. You were born to sparkle.
    Why do we have to stop wearing it just because we have a little less estrogen?

  12. Sparkle on! One of my favorite memories of my 30s is encountering a 70+ woman in a high-end food store. She wore tall white boots and a lavender shift. Straight out of the early 60s, she was. And she was sparkling and thoroughly enjoying herself. I’ll never forget her and will emulate her when I’m older. Who gives a rat’s ass what others think of your sparkly butt?

  13. I am doubtful it will be five years from now.


  14. Helene Bludman says:

    If the shoe fits, wear it. That goes for jeans, too. Wear them and feel great about the admiring glances you will get.

  15. I loved this! Yes..wear that sparkle on your butt and be proud.

  16. Love it. I bought a pair of jeans at my favorite thrift store that have sparkles down one leg, and I feel fabulous when I wear them. But I did have that moment of… am I too old for these? And then I said, “Hell no.”

  17. Ithink you have an enviable, sparkle-worthy caboose! Xxx

  18. I hope you can visit my blog! It is all about fashion fun in mid-life and enjoying some sparkle! Life is short…have fun with it…of course, don’t go overboard…but sparkly jeans..Oh Yeah! A large group of ladies of a certain age join me daily to have fun with style, and many of them have their own fashion blogs. We are just like the girlfriends in line at Target! Come on by!

  19. By all means, wear them! You’ve inspired me to get my bling on too. We want to see photos πŸ™‚

  20. Sparkling tops, sweaters, skirts and pants are very ‘IN’ this year and this season. Wear proudly!

  21. At 58 years old I’ve (almost) given up worrying about others…that’s their problem. I say what I want, I have very long hair and I write about sex. If something makes you feel good, then go for it. You are only accountable to yourself.

  22. Never lose your sparkle! Wear things that are shiney.

  23. Put them on NOW! I have a pair of boyfriend Miss Me’s – I will nevah give them up. And I’m 52…

  24. OMG my favorite haunts are the same as yours!

    Wear those jeans. Wear them and shake your spangled booty.

  25. I only wear low rise jeans. I own 8 pairs of converse sneakers and about 50 tank tops. I’m also over 45. I feel hot and sexy when I wear this stuff and frankly, that’s all that matters. Sparkle on sister.

  26. I hope you put those jeans on and ROCKED them as only YOU can.